he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
