Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am naked and annoyed.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize