Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
