I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
