I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize