Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
