I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
