if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
