I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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