Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just gift wrapped bread.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
