Slut skills are useful in every country.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize