I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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