Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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