Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
