I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
