If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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