You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
