apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
