Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
