oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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