office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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