My girlfriend figured out who you are.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
