One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
