I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
