yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize