Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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