So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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