Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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