jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
