Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
