Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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