i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
