Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
