I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
