just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
