We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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