I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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