i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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