how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
