Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
