You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
