If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
