it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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