If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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