I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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