My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I smell stomach acid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
