their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
