Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
