shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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