party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There are leaves in my underwear?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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