oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
