Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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