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Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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