i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
