Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
