am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
