you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize