I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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