I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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