I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
