Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
