We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love having hate sex.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
