I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize