Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
