I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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