No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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