Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
