Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
