saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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