I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
