Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
