It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
